Fall in bloom.

Because I have an older post of my garden in bloom, I thought I'd make a post of my garden dormant- go figure! Rufus the dog of disaster still mopes around, digging things up and testing my patients. However, I can't blame all of the deaths of my beloved leafy children on him. There has been a lot of trial and error, not to mention how my misunderstanding the difference between annuals and perennials affected things once it started to cool down - live and learn. I've got it now and I've got even bigger plans for spring. 

Enjoy!

There are some new things that were intended like this iris and some that weren't. I spread the iris roots around the yard last year hoping they'd have more of a presence when they began to grow. So far so good...

The lilies and agapanthus were not intended. They were part of a fill pile underneath a layer of mulch and made their way to the surface. Which is great because they will make a nice backdrop for the smaller plants to come. 

These "snowflake plants" have thrived better than I expected. I love that they're large enough now to be able to enjoy their unusual leaf patterns. 

When it's dry, I like to spend a lot of time at this table reading, smoking, listening to music and watching Moo play. 

I put some plants with fun textures in pots on the table. In spring they'll be hearty enough to run my hand over without crushing them. 

Lambs ear feels like ... well a lambs ear. I can't think of a better discription. 

 

These succulents are always nice. I rarely see them in pots on a table so I thought they'd be a nice addition seeing how they grow so slowly. 

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The old apple tree with the broken branch lost a limb last month but it still managed to hang in there another year and produce some really sweet, big red apples. The tree is definitely unique. It is also ugly and problematic. If I had the ability I'd probably cut it down. The area underneath is one of the few problem areas of the yard. 

Whoa! an owl!

The area I have seen the most consistent progress is definitely the hillside by the front door. I wish I had taken a picture of what is used to be (overgrown with agapanthus and ivy) because it looks so much better now. 

And last but not least, the bougainvillea I found hidden under some smelly, long stemmed plant can't tell what season it is! Its flowers are a stark contrast to the monochromatic and somber green of almost everything else. It sits in a raised bed that is already showing signs of cosmos, nasturtium, and morning glory which will bloom in spring and help to fill in the blank wall with more color.

I can't wait!

a conversation from the morning.

Just to preface: I am on my path to a great discovery.  I've had the most intense depression to affect me in almost 10 years, I'm considering the idea that I might have a borderline personality disorder. If not, it's something very close to it and regardless of the diagnosis, I have a lot of work ahead of me if I want to live. 

Today is one of the first days that I haven't felt the weight of existing crushing me. Very often there is a dialogue in my head, it confuses me and tells me the truth in such a way that it will appear to me as a lie or vice versa leaving me confused about what to believe and never really trusting anything. This morning when I closed my eyes a lighter version of that dialogue manifested itself with images (which is rare- unless I am trying to sleep and then the images switch and flip and don't match the dialogue) and I decided to share it because it made me laugh (which never happens). 

After my body woke me up this morning I shut my eyes for a short time and I fell into a half sleep- not really asleep, just dreaming. 

I saw myself sat at a bistro table with no one in the other chair having a cup of tea, hovering above the intersection of Russell and College Avenues just as a bus was at it's stop to load passengers with traffic behind it. 

I glanced over at the bus stopped, it's doors were open, no passengers coming in, none going out. No one even on the sidewalk or behind the steering wheels of the cars waiting to pass. Suddenly I began to speak, "Do you know what Monotional means?" Very calmly and sternly a voice replied, "yes, it's when a bicycle is suspended in a block of ice in an intersection. "

I accepted this answer as the truth and glanced back at the bus. It was still running with no one coming or going but in front of it, in the cross walk was a bicycle, suspended in a large block of ice blocking any potential of passing traffic. 

And then I woke up. 

Monotional. Totally.